Having a random hookup so left but love u
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize