"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
