guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
