Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
