I want to make a zoo with you.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
