mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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