My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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