so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
