I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize