Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
