If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
