She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
