i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
