tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
