from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
you made out with another girl for some wings
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
