How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
