scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
