haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
