Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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