first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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