I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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