I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
