I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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