I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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