Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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