the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
