Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I forgot wine drunk hurts
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
