Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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