nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
