I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
