i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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