awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
