You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
