Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize