woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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