The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
