I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
