I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
