i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
All I want is dick and wine.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
