theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
