chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
