party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
