at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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