I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
