My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
