she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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