"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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