I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
