Already got asked if we're dating
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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