you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
