I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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