Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
