I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
