It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize