dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
