Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
