The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize