the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
