Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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