I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
