I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
