so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
