All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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