She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
