My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
